The Goose is Getting Fat

Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat

Please put a penny in the old man’s hat

If you haven’t got a penny, a ha’penny will do

If you haven’t got a ha’penny, then God bless you!

Christmas, though generally advertised as the most wonderful time of the year can often wreak havoc on families. I, like many love the idea of the holidays but the reality is so much more stressful…. the cooking, the gifting, the assembly of hot bodies while simultaneously trying to keep out the cold weather.


There is a unique stress attributed to Christmas. It starts months before when you try to outdo yourself from the previous year, with the perfect gift. Mothers wanting to pile the presents to ceiling ensuring the tree they spent 24 hours decorating can’t even be seen. Presents some parents can’t even afford and children don’t even appreciate, tossing them aside while they search for THE one that topped their list to Father Christmas.


The mounds of food – turkey (even though half the family doesn’t eat it), ham you ordered a month before Christmas, brusel sprouts (I hate them so I can’t even spell them correctly) that stink up the entire house, carrot and turnip, lamb that cost you half a week’s wages, roast potatoes in goose fat, rice because we’re black and need some ethnic food on menu, a bit of oxtail for gravy, stuffing that’s never moist enough, Yorkshire pudding courtesy of Aunt Bessie because ain’t nobody got time for that, macaroni pie (or macaroni cheese as English people call it).

My dad doesn’t eat pork but he eats ham?

Then you look around and there’s no one to eat all of the food so you are eating left overs for a week. Ham ‘samwiches’, Yorkshire pudding cups filled with stuffing and macaroni, fried rice(and peas)…. Everything but the brussel sprouts though… they’re going straight in the bin.

I would rather starve though

Next you have to fix your fake-it-face for those gifts that you left you wondering whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhy. Why did they buy it? Why didn’t they think? Why did they go to the Goodwill shop? Why didn’t they realise you were going to unwillingly cry when you ripped open the paper? Just think about how you are going to re-gift this thing.

“Oooooh! I love it!”

Dinner has been eaten. In truth, three rounds of dinner have been consumed. I am stuffed but still considering going back in for more. Mummy Reds is on the phone with one of her 7 siblings discussing how next year they are definitely leaving the country for the holidays.

“No more of this getting up at 5:00 AM peeling all these spuds. It doesn’t make any sense. Our Poison Dwarf (our family has the cruellest so-called endearing nicknames) says Goa is glorious at this time of year. Yeah, the kids are old enough now. Barbados would be nice. We could go to Boston or New York. Do some shopping. Have room service. Sack all this cooking. ”

Yet,  next year we are sitting in the same damn position hung over from gluttony on the verge of comatose, swearing that next year we are going to an abandoned island where no family can find us and we have to spend no money on prezzies or drive to Aunty Betty’s or call 47 relatives or look at the monotony of Facebook and Instagram plate pics.


Post Script – In our annual season of excess, we should all try to do something charitable no matter how small. There are a great deal of people sleeping rough in the UK  and US and I am sure the following charities would appreciate your help.

If you can’t contribute directly to a charity, an idea that one of my friend’s shared was to create care packages for those that sleep rough – inexpensive gloves, disposable hand warmers, inexpensive toothbrush, small tube of toothpaste, McDonald’s gift voucher (or Burger King or any other place where they can get a hot drink), sanitary product for women) and socks! I’ve included a link to Pinterest for some more ideas. I am sure the recipient would greatly appreciate it!

Be Charitable This Christmas – Ways to Donate!




This page is self funded. If you are enjoying the content, consider making a small donation.


1 comment

  1. This year will be extra special cos you’re hosting all of us!!! A great joy, certainly for me, as I’ve been cooking the Christmas dinner for the past 12 years!! It will be a joy to sample someone else’s delicious dinner.
    On a serious note, Christmas is a very stressful time of year, particularly for those suffer domestic violence, are homeless, financially struggling, bereaved and lonely. It’s hardly surprising that this season of the year sees the highest suicide rates. The tv adverts and Facebook posts of perfect families celebrating a perfect Christmas can make people less fortunate feel inadequate and sad. And the worst of it is, the meaning of Christmas is often completely lost. The birth of the Prince of Peace. Be charitable, kind and loving to strangers as well as family. God bless.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Mélange of Thought

NOTHING is off limits!

Love Travelling Blog

Travel diaries providing inspiration for planning the perfect trip

Scott Woods Makes Lists

Everything but laundry and groceries.

Climbing, Outdoors, Life!

The Practical Polymath

All about the good life for the geek who can speak

reds rambles

rambling about everything

I Am Babbzy

rambling about everything

Charliecountryboy's Blog

My reflections of life in general.

New Lune

A blog full of tips, inspiration and freebies!

The Bipolar Writer Mental Health Blog

A Collaborative Mental Health Blog

Evafaithful's Blog

Just another weblog

%d bloggers like this: