Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat
Please put a penny in the old man’s hat
If you haven’t got a penny, a ha’penny will do
If you haven’t got a ha’penny, then God bless you!
Christmas, though generally advertised as the most wonderful time of the year can often wreak havoc on families. I, like many love the idea of the holidays but the reality is so much more stressful…. the cooking, the gifting, the assembly of hot bodies while simultaneously trying to keep out the cold weather.
There is a unique stress attributed to Christmas. It starts months before when you try to outdo yourself from the previous year, with the perfect gift. Mothers wanting to pile the presents to ceiling ensuring the tree they spent 24 hours decorating can’t even be seen. Presents some parents can’t even afford and children don’t even appreciate, tossing them aside while they search for THE one that topped their list to Father Christmas.
The mounds of food – turkey (even though half the family doesn’t eat it), ham you ordered a month before Christmas, brusel sprouts (I hate them so I can’t even spell them correctly) that stink up the entire house, carrot and turnip, lamb that cost you half a week’s wages, roast potatoes in goose fat, rice because we’re black and need some ethnic food on menu, a bit of oxtail for gravy, stuffing that’s never moist enough, Yorkshire pudding courtesy of Aunt Bessie because ain’t nobody got time for that, macaroni pie (or macaroni cheese as English people call it).
Then you look around and there’s no one to eat all of the food so you are eating left overs for a week. Ham ‘samwiches’, Yorkshire pudding cups filled with stuffing and macaroni, fried rice(and peas)…. Everything but the brussel sprouts though… they’re going straight in the bin.
Next you have to fix your fake-it-face for those gifts that you left you wondering whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhy. Why did they buy it? Why didn’t they think? Why did they go to the Goodwill shop? Why didn’t they realise you were going to unwillingly cry when you ripped open the paper? Just think about how you are going to re-gift this thing.
Dinner has been eaten. In truth, three rounds of dinner have been consumed. I am stuffed but still considering going back in for more. Mummy Reds is on the phone with one of her 7 siblings discussing how next year they are definitely leaving the country for the holidays.
“No more of this getting up at 5:00 AM peeling all these spuds. It doesn’t make any sense. Our Poison Dwarf (our family has the cruellest so-called endearing nicknames) says Goa is glorious at this time of year. Yeah, the kids are old enough now. Barbados would be nice. We could go to Boston or New York. Do some shopping. Have room service. Sack all this cooking. ”
Yet, next year we are sitting in the same damn position hung over from gluttony on the verge of comatose, swearing that next year we are going to an abandoned island where no family can find us and we have to spend no money on prezzies or drive to Aunty Betty’s or call 47 relatives or look at the monotony of Facebook and Instagram plate pics.
Post Script – In our annual season of excess, we should all try to do something charitable no matter how small. There are a great deal of people sleeping rough in the UK and US and I am sure the following charities would appreciate your help.
If you can’t contribute directly to a charity, an idea that one of my friend’s shared was to create care packages for those that sleep rough – inexpensive gloves, disposable hand warmers, inexpensive toothbrush, small tube of toothpaste, McDonald’s gift voucher (or Burger King or any other place where they can get a hot drink), sanitary product for women) and socks! I’ve included a link to Pinterest for some more ideas. I am sure the recipient would greatly appreciate it!
Be Charitable This Christmas – Ways to Donate!
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