Oh! Is that the time?

And You might ask yourself

Well, how did I get here?

“Once in a Lifetime”

Talking Heads

My cousin/BFF shared a piece with me today about black women who in their 30’s and 40’s who feel like life passed them by. I felt like someone had been spying on me, implanted a chip in my head and was reading my thoughts. 40 is looming and I feel drastically under accomplished. But while I grapple with this, I have to address the larger issue: my concept of time.

I was 21 about 8 years ago so how can I be so close to 50? And not just me, all of my friends. We still party. HARD. Most of us still look pretty close to what we looked like ten years ago (okay I’m obese now and in my defence, I went on heavily regimented diet programme before I turned 21).  (and I am sorry but some of you ladies in your 20’s look older than us – drink some water please!) The only thing that has changed is that our parents have gotten a bit older and our younger family members can go to the club with us and are having children. But time stood still for us children of the 80’s, right?

Or is this our version of one, big, collective mid-life crisis? Is this what our parents experienced? Instead of buying Corvettes are we refusing to stop playing video games, stop going to Trinidad for Carnival, or binge drink at the club with our girls on a weekend away? Is it the availability of social media? Is it reality television AKA reality commercials telling us we are forever young?

Yo, am I the old, thirsty aunt in the club? (If so, shoot me now. Take. Me. Out.)

But, while we’re being critical of ourselves for not having these super fabulous lives usually defined by someone else, what did we do in those “ahem, 8 years” since we were 21? A lot of us traveled. Many of us found love. Children. Jobs. Fostered friendships. But importantly found ourselves. How many of our schoolmates ended up in miserable forced smile marriages? Chronically complaining? On a serious note, how many didn’t make it?

There can always be more. We’ve got to be the accountants of our lives and draw the line somewhere. Let the water flow.