When Mi Win the Lotto 

In my efforts to add some levity to the blog, I am sharing a fun piece, one we’ve probably all fantasised about. 

There was a reggae song that came out about 20 years ago. It was called When Mi Win the Lotto (at least I think that was the name because some of us West Indian people just name songs after the prominent words rather than taking the time to know the name of the tune). Actually I just looked it up – the song is called Lotto by Balloon. The words are something like this:

When mi win the lotto….. Stop beg people and borrow…. Nyam (eat) steam fish everyday and okra. Whole heap of ice cream and whole heap of Jello…..Fly out everyday and go foreign.

Now these are not the most prolific lyrics but I am sure everybody has thought about what they would do if they hit the numbers! I know Mummy Reds has definitely thought about the number of Tupperware containers she would buy because she plays Euromillions religiously. She has an addiction to scratch cards. She has gotten out of bed in the middle of the night to purchase a scratch ticket because it was on her mind.

So today I decided to reflect on what the I (me) would do if I got a call saying “Miss Reds, you won £25 million”. After I wake up from my state of disbelief 3 days later, the following is what I would splash out on.

1.       I like to maintain a level of transparency with my readers. I am in debt. So the first thing I am going to do is settle my debts. That should leave me with £24,996,634 left.

2.       Right, next! The body and face are not looking particularly sweet so I am booking a plastic surgery retreat – I am getting chest to ankle micro-liposuction, I may get a slight breast uplift, some laser cellulite treatments, a serious Kim Kardashian peel, some new eyebrows and ting.

3.       Of course I am going on a multi-country shopping spree immediately! Just for the basics though….

a.       Birkin bag

b.      Tesla Model S

c.       A month’s worth of Christian Louboutin shoes

d.      Harry Winston diamond earrings, pear-drop necklace and bracelet

4.       Now I am looking top. I would purchase some property…. An 8 bedroom house in Barbados, a modest 6 bedroom house in between Liverpool and Manchester. A small apartment in NY. Mummy Reds already told me she is moving into the Bellagio Las Vegas permanently. So that means, I need to list my new properties on Air BnB – I am going to need some extra income.

5.       Traveling is amongst my passions….. So I am going on Princess Cruise Around the World cruise. I want to see every corner of this planet in the 4 months I am in my lovely sweet. That will run me about £50,000. After this cruise is over, I am going on a Riztz Carlton Yacht cruise from Florida to Barbados and then Barbados to Cartagena. Look at the details on their website! Mummy has already selected the Owner’s suite and I have chose the modest loft. Ritz Carlton yachts offer a personal assistant, 24 hour in-room dining and all the luxury you can think of. 

https://www.ritzcarltonyachtcollection.com/luxury-mediterranean-cruises/romecivitavecchia-to-montecarlo-11200529/suites-fares

6.       All of the above will take me about a year. After I have settled into my new found millionaire status, I will be more strategic in my planning.

a.      I would invest in Apple, Google, Tesla, LVMH stocks. 

7.       You know I have to take care of my Mummy and Daddy Reds so they are getting:

a.       Personal driver

b.      Nice little annual stipend (they both have issues budgeting so I will keep them on a short leash!)

c.       Mum will have a nice home in Liverpool and Daddy can have a brownstone in Boston

Finally, I would fall off the face of the earth, only contactable by about 20 people. I’d drift into the sunset and forget about all the frenemies, fuckboys and shop my way through the future. 

What would you do with a life-changing windfall?