Brrrrrrrrr!!!! The air has just slapped me in the face as walk to my Mazda.

New Year’s Eve

All my hopes for resurrection squeezed into this new outfit I bought from The Limited.

I wasn’t planning on stepping out tonight but David said he’d leave my name at the door at Unity (yes, Unity- yuck!) so why not? It’s cold and there is dirty brown snow on the ground but I will wear my silver sandals none the less because the look great with my cream pants suit. I have my hair slicked back in a ponytail in an effort to look more like an adult as we approach the new year. I am excited! I never get excited. I can’t wait for this new year though. New opportunities, a chance at a promotion, new places to see…. for some reason I feel an electricity pulsing through me when normally I view the new year as just another passing of the night, a flipping of the calendar pages.

photo-1519593113671-52cd2c0ff166
credit: @jckbck

I arrive at Unity and there is a modest line. I do the shiver shimmy to shake off the cold. I am meeting Sarah inside.

Here I am at the door giving David’s step-sister my name. R-e-d-s. R-e-d-s. R-E-D-S. Woman, here is the $20.00. I will just pay.  Steupse.

Inside the heat from hundreds of bodies is a stark contrast to the frigid air I escaped. The humidity feels a lot like fire on a gas stove. I shed my coat and stuff it behind David and the sound system as you do.

Sarah are now reunited and we spend the night drinking and frolicking. It’s the new year and time to party. Que all the bad new year’s tunes. Prince, Cameo and all of the old obligatory Soca tunes. The atmosphere is buzzing with excitement and floor is slippery with side effect from that excitement. I see a few people slide and a few people fall – I snicker not so obviously in the spirit of the holidays.

Here I am sitting on the stage as they announce the raffle. I didn’t realise there was a raffle. It is for a roundtrip ticket on AirJamaica. I don’t even bother to remove my ticket stub out of my tiny Louis Vuitton purse. I never win anything so I keep sipping on my r um and Coke. The emcee calls out a number, 832, 832. Okay let me take out this stub just in case. 8.3.2. I must be d runk. Wait. I WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   I seriously won!!!!!!!!! I knew this was going to be an ace New Year’s and this has proved it.

Sarah and I keep on throwing back the drinks in acknowledgement of the win.

It’s time to leave and because it is so cold we decide not to hang about tonight.

In the car I am calling The Jamaican. He isn’t answering. Why not???? I want to celebrate my win with him.  I keep calling him.  And to make this win extra special, I take some trees with Sarah. This is one of the two times in my life I have ever indulged.

I am feeling positive so I keep calling him and now his phone is going to voicemail.

So we take the Mazda down the road to his place.  The music is loud and so are we. Laughing all the way into the new year.

My heart drops. In front of his house is HER car. The car of the girl he has sworn he has nothing to do with. There is a knot in my stomach so huge that no air can occupy any part of torso. I am now doing a u-turn. Everything is in sloooooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwww-mooooooooottttttttiooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnn……..  Including Sarah’s screaming when I take my car and ram right up against that  hoe’s little piece of tin and listen to the satisfying scriicccccccccccccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh as my mirror drops right off.

We are driving away and screaming our way into the new year some more.

This my friends, is the last in this chaotic series about real-life events.

It contains a number of lessons that I hope you can learn from.

1.       Sometimes it’s good not to get something for free – You may win something even though I never did get to take that trip on AirJamaica

2.       Never hit anyone’s car on purpose!!! EVER!!!

3.       Never drink/smoke/do anything and drive

I am not proud of what I did and this was pretty much my wake-up call with regards to this relationship. That slow moving and deliberate car crash was a perfect analogy for my life at that time; slowly destroying destroying myself with my eyes wide open. I still do things that erode my soul (a different series of stories).

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credit: @meteorphoto

I have only gotten to a point where I am comfortable enough to share the specifics in detail. I share much of this series as a cautionary tale and if you recognise yourself in any of this, GET OUT!

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Written by redsrecommends

Just like every other person who roams this planet - misunderstood and random.

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