What’s worse than being fat?

  1. A philandering adulteress with a hot case of genital Herpes. 
  2. A crackhead with a penchant for thievery. 
  3. An unemployed home wrecker who has a dependency on weed. 
  4. A one legged dog with halitosis. 
  5. A low rent prostitute with a couple past due bills and children in foster care. 
credit: @jorgezapatag

All of these things are more acceptable than being fat. And I can say this because I’m fat. I’m not Jerry Springer sit around naked because clothes aren’t made in my size, get cut out of the house fat but I’m thigh friction can’t fit most of my clothes fat. 

I know that society takes pride in its appearance and I’m grossly aware that people would embrace a marginally good looking serial killer (Charles Manson) before they would an ugly fat person. 

There are loads of positive body image campaigns out there but let’s be honest there’s very little in this world that’s viewed as being worse than fat. And those campaigns are really only because millineals think it’s cool to be inclusive but they secretly hate us too or they need a fat person to be the funny person in the crew. 

There’s a general disgust that fat people have lives. Like, how dare they drive cars when they should be trying to lose weight. Oh you’re at work while fat? You should be out running not earning a living! And don’t be fat and eating!!! Don’t you know the only way to lose weight is to starve? I mean don’t even drink water. Fat people should have no rights. Just lock them up and starve them nah! I hope if you’re reading this and you’re fat like me, you’re reading this while running on a treadmill! I’m writing this while on the elliptical, by the way. 

And when I’m slim, I’ll post on Instagram all the time. Me being slim by the pool. Me being slim at work when I should be in a meeting. Me being slim standing in line for coffee (wait, I don’t drink coffee). And I’ll write really politically correct and demeaning stuff about fat people but I won’t call them fat. I’ll say “We’re all beautiful, no matter our size. Look at my friend” And it will be my largest friend. Just to show how slim and petty I am. 

Obviously, this is dripping in sarcasm but it is a reality many of us, ahem, buxom (I don’t mind being called fat) people have to deal with. I accept that being overweight has a number of health implications and increases the risk of stroke, certain cancers, impact on joints, etc. I also note that smoking and eating nutritionally void food (irrespective of your size) carries the same if not increased risks. So my slender folk who eat nothing but processed foods and slag off  larger people🖐🏽 you might want to take off that judgement hat. 

P.S. I know I misspelled millennials but as they are my least favourite generation I don’t bother running spell check to correct my continuous error. #sorrynotsorry

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