I absolutely hate the idea that anger is somehow wrong or inappropriate. I am an expressive being but spent many of my years (until I was about 19 years old), not saying a lot of what I was thinking (I know many of my childhood friends are now accusing me of lying but I am walking in my truth today, for real guys!).
Throughout my childhood, I was actually quite scared to say what I thought and how I felt. My dad was always screaming and yelling, even when he wasn’t yelling, he was yelling (he has a booming voice so much so that he even the simplest of things he says sounds like he is being combative – “REDS, PASS ME THAT NEWSPAPER THERE” ).
When I found my voice, I pretty much used it all the damn time. Oh, the lady at the breakfast shop burned my bagel:
“BITCH, WHY YOU BURN MY FUCKING BAGEL, WHAT THE HELLLLLLLLLLLL IS WRONG WITH YOU??? DO YOU HATE ME? DO YOU HATE GLUTEN? WHY YOU DO MY BAGEL SO?!”
As I have grown into the mellowness of my early 40’s, I have found discernment to manage my meltdowns and lessen my yelling. Plus, I live in a country where people call the police entirely too much so I have been diluted not necessarily by choice (damn it!).
But upon reflection (shit, I am always reflecting. I am a bit tired of reflecting thought and with COVID-19 impacting my life, I am running out of life experience to reflect upon), I still believe that anger is a very much an appropriate response. And nothing infuriates me more than when someone attempts to extinguish the pure fire of anger a person is experiencing and reduce it to the simmer of a broth.
I understand that anger makes those not experiencing it uncomfortable but just because you are uncomfortable does not mean that you should impose your discomfort on someone who is in pain. How would you feel if you burned your hand on the stove making some stewed peas and someone insisted that you must not feel or express that singe?
Suppressing anger is like swallowing the jagged edge of a sword. It’s prolonging the pain of a person. Let people feel their pain and express it in a manner that feels right for them.
We demonise people who express their anger, meanwhile there are seemingly nice or kind people who smile and laugh who are ticking time bombs who continuously suppress what society perceives as inappropriate reactions.
It is here where I note, that I am actually not in a bad mood, I am not at all angry today but this crossed my mind that people should stop asking others to abide by societal rules to maintain the comfort of themselves.
By the way, if you try to suppress or even suggest that I suppress my anger, I will cuss you to <bleep> out.
Bye for now!